I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Damn victory sex feels great
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
