I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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