Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
