I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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