And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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