U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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