there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
