I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
