Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
