Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
