he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
