Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
he fucked my hip out of place.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Never joke about your clitoris.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize