I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
