this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Randomize
