whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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