are you so shy because you have an std?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
