Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
