i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
