That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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