This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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