Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
