How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
