Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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