I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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