I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
