Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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