windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
false alarm, still single
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