Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
