fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
