hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
PANTIES FOUND
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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