I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
