So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
