remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
