i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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