i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
