it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just high enough for therapy.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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