god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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