We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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