when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
no. you can't hotbox the world.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
