I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
