Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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