this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
