I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
