Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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