Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
