this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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