By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
