I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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