he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
