turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Alive.
So much puke
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
